roast

so my friend rebecca told me today that cosmo rated MY WORK as the number one place to meet hot, successful men.

still single.

i want a sandwich.

this creepy guy at work just told me to "buck up"

i'm mostly just pissed that lee won't bring me food.
i'll be here till eleven if anyone else has an extra sandwich.

WTF!

um, i just found out nate slaughter works at the mac counter. how the hell did that happen??!

handwritten postcards

dear future crush,
i'm really looking forward to meeting you.
waiting patiently,
ktron
ps. anytime.. really.

dear holiday consumers,
fuck you too. you are no more entitled than the next guy. and i'm smarter than you are.
with distaste, retail employees worldwide.

dear people i know,
not as many of you are on my shit list as it would appear.
with love, ktron.

professionalism

recently at a work meeting the term "happy marshall" was used over and over and over.

i couldn't help but think this sounded like a dirty move, and i laughed a little bit to myself each time it was mentioned. when "we would DEFINITELY have to GIVE HIM a HAPPY MARSHALL" was said i laughed alot really loud.

update

people off my shit list:

- lee t.d. (on probation)
- jeff t. and damian d. (because they don't belong on anyone's shit list)

everyone else: still applies.

ALSO.. on a lighter note happy birthday lisa.

snubbed

pretty much everyone i know is on my shit list right now for not inviting me to a holiday that i invented.

and various other reasons.

oh frack

i hate halloween. because it grosses me out.

ALSO... dressing up as a character from your favorite science fiction television show is only a good idea until you run into the boy-you-weren't-pretty-enough-to-date and he says "oh, i get it, you have completely given up on your image."

roast.

AA

assholes anonymous.

i realize that i am MEAN. a lot meaner than i used to be, pretty much all the time.

so.. sorry. i'll try to work on that.

the new hanging out

sometimes you drive far to hang out with your friend in real life.. but end up hanging out in DL from two rooms away instead:



and then this happens:



best face ever.

parenting 101

the highlight of my day was when a little kid with rollerskate shoes zoomed up to me and said, "excuse me, can i have some chocolate?"

(what the hell?)

((i was NOT eating, holding or located in place where there might be chocolate nearby))

bmw.. 123

the other day i saw this really ugly lady with a mitsubishi diamante tattoo. hmm.

THIS song instantly came to mind.

roast dot com

beings sick is such a roast.

especially when you spend 18 hours sitting in bed and you don't have the internet.

ALSO.. watching starwars in bed on a rainy day is still one of my all time favorite things to do

RL vs. VL

if real life were in fight with virtual life real life would win, because it has heart. if the fight happened in the future then RL would get its ass kicked.



ALSO.. i wish i had some limeade RIGHT NOW.

Jeans-Star

homemade jeans bitches!

mouse on mars

"who wants to go there anyway?? i mean, unless you are into alot of red shit"

-thats is mike on mars



















Mouse On Mars - I Go Ego Why Go We Go

i would want to go to mars if there are mice there making jams like this.

i wish

that i had this to put my lunch in EVERYDAY!

ALSo.... i don't have a phone!!! so everyone stop freaking out. i still have the internet and voicemail so it isn't the end of the world. hopefully i will have a new phone by saturday.

oh no!!

sorry!

dear jace,

i'm sorry that when i saw you today i said "you look like a piece of poo." its kind of your own damn fault for wearing an all brown outfit.

love, kristin

that is what is called "my internal monologue accidentally took a wrong turn in my brain and came out my mouth"

attention:

i washed my hair. so if that was holding you back from being my boyfriend you can go ahead and ask me out now.